Thursday, February 18, 2010

Picking Your Battles

Picking your battles is a hard lesson, not just with children, but in life in general. If I choose to fight with my husband about every small thing, we would argue all the time. If I choose to tell my daughter no all the time, even when it is really not a big deal, I will be saying no all day.

We have decided unless she is just going to make a huge mess, or do something that is dangerous to her, it is not worth fighting her over.
Is it really a big deal that she throws every single object out of her diaper bag if I forget and place it on the floor instead of up high? How about if she pulls each and every toy she owns out of her toy basket, over and over and over again; even when we are expecting someone to visit, and toys do not need to be everwhere? Some things are really just not worth the fight. If my house looks like a disaster when someone comes to the door, o well.

Yesterday, after fighting with her, (she has a very strong will and I love that about her) about food, toys, where she is allowed to crawl, etc..., when she wanted to help unload the dishwasher, whatever. Yes, I could have easily shut the dishawaher door (lid, front...what is that called!!?) and told her no, but it really wasn't a big deal to me.
She was not hurting anything. She had a blast, and kept looking at me like "Hello, aren't you going to say something?"

"Mom, I'm over here about to throw everything out of the dishwasher...."

She explored every inch of the dishwasher. Holding on tightly, she bravely tried to grab dishes.

I could have easily told her no, set boundries that "You do not play in the dishwasher," closed the lid (door, front, I still don't know what it's called), and went along our way. Instead, she explored for about 20 minutes, and crusied along the entire bottom rack...and crusing is something she has not done before helping with the dishwasher. Not only did she have a blast doing this, she cruised!

I was so excited about her skill, I was praising her and clapping.

That smile makes it all worth it. Even if every dish ended up in the floor.
Her smile is priceless.

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