bed rest

Top howevermanyreasons you know you were on bed rest for too long

Disclaimer: This is long. There are a lot of reasons, 22 to be exact, and I'm just getting started.

You call to order your meal, (in one of the largest hospitals in Atlanta) and the lady who answers knows who you are. No name, no room number, no nothing. She also knows you are not a big fan of breakfast, not to force it.

Every tech that comes to get your weight, every morning (Yes, every morning, first thing) knows to cover the screen so you don’t have to see it.

If your nurse comes in before you want her too, you pretend to be asleep.

You have “pet therapy” once a week, and you don’t even really care for dogs. You also begin to have weekly visitors.

You know every nurse by name, and what they are doing when they get off shift. You even begin to ask how their families are.

You have watched every rerun of Law and Order (SVU is my favorite), and feel sort of disgusted when someone interrupts an episode, even though you’ve seen it before.

You get excited when they change the light colors on the King and Queen Towers. (Only for people in Atlanta who are lucky enough to have a room with a view.)

Look forward to “beef tips and rice” night for dinner. It was Wednesday's.

When you’re being monitored, and the baby moves away from the monitor - you don’t call the nurse, silly. You find the baby again yourself.

You tell the nurse where your veins are, and not to fish, stick again.

You have your own bed sheets and comforter, in a hospital bed.

You look forward to “shower days.”

A doctor that comes around weekly exclaims each time, “You’re still here!”

The acrylic nails (pink and white, actually) that you just got filled in (the day before you were admitted) need filled in so terribly bad, they are about to grow off. You begin searching for mobile manicure companies. There are none out there that do acrylic, FYI.

You got a ten minute wheelchair ride to go outside for some fresh air. Ten minutes is up before you even get outside.

Your husband’s air mattress, on the floor, makes a lot of noise at night.

Nurses and staff come to hang out in your room when they are on break (and even when they are not) because they need a break, and you’re the cool room-only because they know you personally because you have been there for so long.

You are awake in the middle of the night before the nurse comes in to wake you to take medication. You can sit up in bed, reach for your water cup, have your blood pressure taken, and take a pill from the nurse’s hand, sip, and swallow – all with your eyes still shut.

You have music therapy. Enough said.

You start to estimate how many cc’s you urinated (I know, gross) because you are tired of peeing in a hat. And you’re actually quite good at it.

When there is a tornado warning, which is the only time you have been in the hall, you see every woman in the hall is sitting reclined in their wheelchair to keep pressure off the cervix. Lovely sight.

You make a howevermanyreason list, so you will always remember your hospital stay!