Today

For the first 28 days of Logan's precious life, someone else had the role of taking care of my baby. She was not healthy enough to leave the hospital and come home with us. The wonderful nurses fed her, held her, bathed her and comforted her while we were not able to be present. My heart was always at the hospital with Logan, but physically we were not able to stay there all the time. I went to the hospital every single day she was there. The only time Cody did not come was when he had to work. We stayed from morning until night. We would call to check on her as soon as we got to the car in the parking garage, in tears.

At first, there were rules to follow. You could not touch her certain ways, couldn't rub her skin, and couldn't rock her for fear of damaging her fragile brain. We could only visit at certain times. As the days went on, we were able to visit as often as we wanted, and hold her skin to skin. It was amazing to watch the effect it had on her. Her body temperature would rise within minutes of being placed on our chest, her respirations would even out, as well as her heart rate. Then came the time to put her back in her isolette, and leave for the night.

 

A couple of weeks later, we were able to participate in feeding Logan. During a feeding time, we would offer her the bottle. She started with one bottle a day. It took her almost three weeks before she was able to take all of her feeds by bottle. When she was able to do this, and keep her heart rate up, and no apneas, she would be discharged from the hospital.

A year ago today, Logan was discharged from the hospital, into our care. We were excited and scared at the same time. After all, we had not been caring for our daughter 24/7 since she was born. It was cold and windy when we came home. She was the smallest baby I think I have ever seen in a car seat. She was discharged at 5 pounds, 4oz. Cody drove home with both hands gripping the wheel tightly. A new home would be different for her. She did fantastic, and it felt great to have our daughter home.

We were able to feed her every bottle, change every diaper, soothe every cry, bathe her and hold her close all the time. It was wonderful, and still is.